1st Degree: Jensen and the Ghost of Jourdan – Chapter 5

I GUESS I HAVE TO PUT THIS HERE: WARNING! THIS STORY CONTAINS STRONG LANGUAGE AND VIOLENCE… AND SEX… OCCASIONALLY

Note from the author: After 6 years… and over a month, I continue my story of Jensen and the Ghost of Jourdan. This story that started as a mere challenge, and now is more than that. I want to see it till the end. Hope you are still there… my reader. Thank you for not leaving me. ❤  Becca.

NOTE – If you are new to this story, it started with SIMS 3, you do have to read from the beginning to understand what is happening. You can find a recap HERE in case you just don’t feel like starting from the… start.

CHAPTER FOUR

*

“This shit right here is getting tedious. Last night I though’ I was gonna die in my sleep.

“Reality is… this ain’t a game. If little birdie flies away…

“well,

“let me put it bluntly so is understood:

“We’ll be as good as dead; taken care of.

“I’m sure the O’Neills are on to us.”

“Don’t worry D. It’s done deal. He’s outta the house.”

“Yet… he isn’t here.”

“That, you’ll have to ask your son.”

“I did my part. The whore threw him outta the house this morning. Jensen’s on the streets.”

*

There is a place where I only exist in the infinite space of the blue.

Escaping is impossible

Like in a dream…

I walk in circles, pathless…

into the abyss of my despair.

Can’t ignore it anymore,

I was supposed to feel peace…

instead, anguish overcomes me.

I close my eyes, and only see the stranger inside me.

FIVE

Revelation

2 hours earlier

“Hmm.”

“Just show up.”

“I know you’re there, I can feel your energy.”

“Are we like… a medium now?”

“Are we like, a ghost?”

“It was a joke, Jensen.”

“No, but are you?”

“I mean, in the future… are you dead?”

“How did you…?”

“Not yet, anyway.”

“Not yet you’re not dead? But you went through a wall.

“What the heck?”

“It’s more complicated than that. It’s not like that.

“It’s not like I died and now I’m a wandering spirit pulling your leg. Or not a spirit and still pulling your leg.

“It’s not like that Jensen.”

“Then what’s it like?”

“I guess a simple explanation won’t do. But I can’t just tell you every detail. I don’t have every detail.

“I just know that I went under, like an induced coma, and now I’m here. The technicalities, I have no clue… I was offered the opportunity, and I took it.”

“So you’re sayin’ in the future you went under coma purposely in order to time travel to this specific time dimension?”

“Sorta like that I guess, you always were the smart one.”

“That seems highly impossible, yet…”

If I can’t get rid of her, then I must face her. I know I must be a hypocrite, leavin’ Maria when she was practically throwing herself at me, and all this time, it’s what I’ve wanted… it just wouldn’t make sense to anyone in their right mind.

Heck! It doesn’t even make sense to me.

Yet, here I am. Feeling completely in my element.

I must be a masochist.

“Look, let’s just say that I give you the benefit of the doubt, and contemplate the idea that you truly come from the future…”

“Jensen, stop, don’t do this…”

“No, no; hear me out. For a moment, I will contemplate the idea that you truly come from the future, where you’re my wife; in a coma; tryin’ to save me from myself.”

“Why? What is it that I do to myself? Commit suicide?”

“No.”

“Because I would never….”

And again, another revelation? And this time it hits me hard, and I’m feeling enlightened.

Just like that? As if all one needs is to be born again, because, presumably you have gone through the wrong path and have gotten yourself in a trap; you’re at the end of the road; but you aren’t ready to give up; and just like that, the path is opened once again… just enough for you to breathe and feel like you are still alive.

“What?”

“I just realized that I would never do that. I know I have been whinin’ and crayin’ like a little brat, but I don’t wanna die.”

I wanna live. Yes. But I also wanna belong, and this woman/ghost/alien from the future – whatever she is, has forced me to see that I wanna live; but not for Tommy; not for Maria; but for myself.

And yet, I can’t shake off the feeling of anguish.

That I’m uncertain of my life.

“You won’t die Jensen. That’s why I’m here, to help you understand that to live the best possible life that you could live, you have to do it away from here. Away from everything you know.”

The most hilarious part of this is how I still feel drawn to this madness, and how I acknowledge it, like it’s alright.

As if I was bewitched by her. I don’t wanna care.

But I do.

“What are you doing? People are going to think you are nuts.

“You know they can’t see me. Only you can.”

“I’m curious. Last night I touched you, I threw you outta the house. Earlier you walked through a wall. And now this…”

“I can materialize when I want to, but it takes a lot of my energy.

“I just didn’t want to spook you before.”

“That much…

“I figured all that talk about the future was going to be weird enough.”

“You think?”

Gosh are we getting along now? This isn’t supposed to happen… I think.

“Jensen look I don’t care if you hate me. In fact, please hate me, but stay away from me. I mean the me that is here in the present.”

“Are you reading my thoughts?”

“No.”

“Oh. Thank God.”

Because that would be embarrassing… to say the least.

“Jensen listen to me. You must listen…”

“Stop. I don’t wanna listen to anythin’ anymore.

“I have many things to sort out right now. I think I deserve a level of respect since I have given you the benefit of the doubt.”

“And let you go to perhaps the place that I least want you to go to? No.”

“You’ve done nothing else but antagonize me. Stalking me in the shadows, literally like a ghost. I don’t wanna explain myself more than this, just stop.

“If you do this once, I’ll come lookin’ for you later… however I can do that; I will.”

I have chosen to believe this person, as crazy as this sounds to me; as dangerous as it might be.

I already have lost so much, I’m not afraid to lose myself if it means I get to feel alive.

NEXT

3 thoughts on “1st Degree: Jensen and the Ghost of Jourdan – Chapter 5

    • You will kind of put a few pieces together in the second part to this chapter. Because it is the chapter for the biggest revelation between Jourdan and Jensen. The mystery of Ji-Sang will come in the following chapter. At this point I think it’s all one answer after the next from here on… although more questions will continue to arise as other are revealed. Thank you so, so much for reading!!! 😀

      Liked by 1 person

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