1st Degree: Jensen and the Ghost of Jourdan – Chapter Four (2nd Part)

I guess I have to put this here: WARNING! This story contains strong language and violence.

Note from the author: So colorful, like Jensen’s feelings for Maria… too bad, tsk, tsk. Oh my God! There is so much more I wanted Jensen to say at the end. I feel like the end of this chapter is weak, but I just can’t deal with this anymore. I have to publish it and go on… next chapter. Only if I could get that one out before next year LOL!


2_zps3cce82ea“Where are those stupid pants…”




6_zpsd4c50d3d“There you are. I was gonna come down get you now.”

7_zps2cdebef1“We have to go, are you ready? Come over here, let me look at you.”

8_zpsc13164a6“And where have you been all night? I know you didn’t sleep here, so don’t lie.”

14_zps7c6dfbb8“I’ll tell you on the way. Right now we have to hurry up and leave.”

10_zps3b55703c“What about breakfast?”

“Damn, breakfast… I’ll get you something on the way.”

13_zpscb6fb96f“Everything is on the way. You’re acting very suspicious.”

12_zpsf553246c“Ha, ha, ha. Hold on prince. Can I at least finish dressing up? I’ll explain everything, I promise.”

15_zps796369a6“Who cares about breakfast really? I just wanted to tell you about Julian–”

11_zps3bb57c78“Julian… that’s right, I missed him last night. That bastard!”

17_zps86155347“Is he still here? Did he tried to–”

16_zps1c337ba4“No. But, mom has been looking for you, I told her you where in the bathroom… I think Julian will stay with us. I thought he had done something to you. But then I saw you coming in with that girl, who is she?”

19_zps06c2d810“Yeah Jensen, let’s hear it. Who’s that girl, and just where have you been?”


20_zps9e0c0681“Wait for me down stairs Tommy, with Maria.”

21_zps8eea08ca“Shit! I’m always sent away when the fun starts.”

22_zpsd7d7e60b“Watch your language young man!”

28_zps8c0f9abe“And get moving.”

Screenshot-46_zpsccfef866“Yes mam.”

23_zps3a62da3a“Pst… Jen-sen… pst.”

24_zps545f5af4“You’re still here?”

“No mam, I’m going down now.”


26_zps45331a38“You! We have to talk.”

27_zps83e1e759“Well, can I at least finish dressing up? Aunt?”

“Hurry up, I don’t have all day. I’ll be right bellow.”

1_zpsf5085bad“What is it now?”

29_zps4c340210Patricia -because I refuse to call her aunt if not necessary- is only ten years my senior. She normally wears a lot of make-up, because of her night “profession” I guess. I just have never seen her look this…

30_zps4ad83f5f… young. And it upsets me.

3_zpsb162dc5e“Wait, let me guess; another part-time job?”

What’s more upsetting is the fact that she does all of these for him. That lousy, sorry excuse of a man she has let into her life.

4_zpsb6d15cb3“Pft, You make me laugh.”

4aa_zpsc18ca059“And what is it paying for now? Julian’s night rendezvous with the occasional hooker? I guess one isn’t enough.”

Her stupidity maddens me!! I want to see her suffer. To be in pain. I want her to cry her eyes out… just like I did the first night I came to live here.

4aaa_zps271d5927“Julian is none of your business. I advice you stop with the insults–”

5_zps3d49265e“Okay so say what you wish to say already for crying-out-loud.”

4a_zps98aae929“You have a friend right? What’s his name… uh, Maxwell? And is he a very good friend?”

5_zps367a6c35“What about him?”

2_zps54ed5408“Well, I guess you’ll find out soon enough. You’ll go stay with him for a month.”


“Wait, what?”

6_zps8f3c8507“Are you kicking me out after all?”

“Don’t ask questions. You just do what I tell you to do.”

6_zps3ebd960b“And you asked Max to let me stay with him?”

“Of course not! Why would I do such thing? I just imagine that’s what friends do. Look out for one another.”

“I can’t believe you’re letting that snake run your life this way.”

8_zps61a4b94a“I told you he was none of your concern. You better shut the hell up now!

“Don’t you have some place to run off to?”

7_zps2410f2afI do. I wish. I hope.

10_zpsbdfc647cA place far away from here. Where misery cannot find me. Where I can escape a life filled with you… and Julian.

1_zpsf3889bfb“It didn’t really hurt much, just… I was scared.”

But where would that leave Tommy?

2_zpsf2f280d8“I had never seen tweezers that big.”

I can’t leave. Even if she orders me to. I can’t leave Tommy.

3_zpsa5b640a9“Ha, ha, ha… they aren’t really tweezers. And you will always be scared no matter how many times you go, you know? It happens to all of us.”

And I can’t feel wronged. Not today.

4_zps30f4d602Today I have her.

“What are you guys talking about?”

5_zpsb6377055“The dentist.”


2_zps056225b6“Tommy was telling me his experience.”

3_zpsb2e39207“Oh yes. The dentist was a very, should I say intimidating experience? Ha, ha.”

1_zpsa39cdf60“Alright, what do you say we take you to school together? Jensen and I?”

8_zpsa8c16b82“I have decided not to go to school today.”

9_zps7c0dcefa“Skip school? And what would you tell your mother?”


“Nothing, ’cause he is going to school.”

“No I’m not!! I’m going with you guys.”

11_zps02c41795“Ha, ha… who said anything about going anywhere? We’re all going to school.”

“Well, you can go if you like. I’m going to the beach fair!!”

11a_zps92220f54Today I’m happy.

12_zps9158cb2e“Hey Tommy! Wait up prince…”


Screenshot-4Even if for one day. I’m happy.


Screenshot-9“That was fun!”

Even if her interest is not completely sincere. Did Erika asked her to come see me?

Screenshot-12“But I wonder if it will be better to…”

Today. I’m happy.


Screenshot-11“Jensen are you listening?”

Screenshot-14“Uh? Yeah. What did you say?”

Screenshot-10“Silly… I asked you if there was any place we could crash for a little while. I don’t want to run into someone that might recognize me and tell dad I have skipped school.”

Screenshot-2 (2)“I know what we can do… I think. Hold on.”



2two_zps90d33fad“Where the hell are you guys? Everyone is wondering what happened.”


Screenshot-18“How the hell does everyone–“


Screenshot-4 (2)“Never mind. We’re at the boardwalk. Actually, wanted to ask for a favor…”

4cuatro_zpsbb2ac00f“Yeah, what is it?”

Screenshot-16“I need to crash at pink rabbit for a few hours.”

5cinco_zpsd679f7d0“Oh hell no!! DUDE…!!!”

8_zps2a7af305“I mean, you know that’s man cave. The rules are: No Females. No exceptions dude.”

Screenshot-19“Dude!!! Come on Max, just for a few hours.”

“No way man.”

Screenshot-7 (2)“I’ll play on your next gig; you still need that bass player don’t you?”

7_zps93820134“Ahhhh man! Alright. Just this once.”

nine“Just this once.”

“And clean up afterwards.”

eleven“Yo! It’s nothing like that man.”

6inacome_zps0c5e3ade“Whatever dude. Hanging up.”

Screenshot-26“Sorry. I kinda told Claudia I was meeting you before school.”

Screenshot-28“You did huh? Well…”

Screenshot-34“Wait! Jensen are you upset?”

Screenshot-33“Just kidding! Let’s go.”



11_zps5ab39d88“Fuck this…”

12_zps86aca4fd“Babe? What’s wrong?”

“Uh? Nothing… nothing to worry about. Come’re…”

13comecome_zps2a6368eb“I want a hug.”



Screenshot-252_zpsf6edb820“Twenty-twenty-twenty-four hours to go I wanna be sedated”

3_zpse3bc93fd“Nothin’ to do and no where to go-o-oh I wanna be sedated”

2_zpsc8991cc0“Just get me to the airport put me–

“Hurry hurry hurry… I go insane”

1_zps6a880906“I can’t control my fingers–can’t control my–

“Damn mosquito!”

4“Oh no no no no no…

“Ba-ba-bamp-ba ba-ba-ba-bamp-ba I wanna be sedated”

5_zpsdd6c9e3e“Ba-ba-bamp-ba ba-ba-ba-bamp-ba I wanna be– shit…”

6_zps0fc109a2“We have to talk.”

8_zpsb4912cb1“That’s all we do… ”

10a“you and I.”

11_zps96790ae9“It’s already happening. Patricia threw Jensen out of the house.”

13_zps7a7cb6c9“I guess I better get the air mattress ready.”


11a_zps32317785“If you don’t step in now he is going to end up at Maxwell’s house. He can’t go there, it’s not safe.”

10_zps8a94ef78“What is… these days?”

9_zps941e7de4“I’m talking about Maxwell Dunn!! Jensen’s friend who is not a real friend? Remember?”

13_zps7a7cb6c9“Right. His friend who is not a friend.”

14_zpsa2c1ff83“Must stay away from his friend, who is not a friend.”

15_zps9da73031“Are you drunk?”

16_zps7d2ebe1d“Got it. His friend… no wait, you said he is not his friend.”


“Get away, would you?”


“All of the above. Now leave me be.”

19“Have you heard any of what I have said?”

“Alright jeez!! Jensen cannot stay with Maxwell. Happy?”

20_zps38d48670“I’ll build us a bunk-bed.”

12_zps87e43f81“I’m serious, Joon Ji-woo.”


3_zps71a135e0“Not fair… you’re not playing fair.”

4_zps56bf85da“What are you doing now? Running away from the truth?”

5_zps59c18698“How many times do have I told you! Don’t call me that! HOW MANY TIMES?”

1_zps6e3a1829“Scream all you want, that’s your real name. Why not call you that?”

7_zps6deb30db“Ah… because of her? You can’t hear your name by no one else but her?”

8“Shut up.”

9_zps6e2e3e5f“Don’t come any closer.”

10_zps52234ec6“Because it hurts to remember?”


13_zps510d403b“That you couldn’t do anything to help her”

6_zps1dbd4d0e“while she laid on that floor, covered in blood!”

15_zps4d41a161“SHUT UP!!”


17“You can’t touch me.”


19_zpsa13830a9“But I can!”



22_zps51b05a6f“She is dead now.”


24_zpsa8069f75“She is dead! You can’t do anything about that.”

26_zps55e7ca96“No. No. No. No.”

27_zpsbcb93c36“But you can still avenge her by keeping her son safe. The only thing that is left of her.”

27a“Don’t you understand? Jensen is in danger. I need you sober Ji-woo! Please!”

28_zps270948a5“Then help me.”

“Of course I’ll help you.”

29_zps4cb66273“Help me go back.”

30_zps4015ea8a“I also want to go back in time… help me…”

31_zps4c4b6cfc“Very well. I see you are impossible today.”

32_zps4fa3f97a“I’m sure Jensen would love to learn of your true identity.”

33_zps4bf681e0“He’ll be shocked to know how his mother died.”

“No Jourdan, wait!!”

34_zps5d0b0b92“I’ll be straight up with him. Isn’t that what you asked me to do?”

“Wait. Not like that!”


36“You’re disgusting!”

37_zps91fa9f9f“I must go back… I-go back.”

38_zps45453885“I have to–I must…”

39_zpsefd3d6a4“go back.”




iloveyou“I’m your bride Jensen.”




2“Are you okay? You were having a nightmare.”

3“I didn’t wake you because dad says is best not to if it isn’t necessary.”

4“Here, hold my hand if you’re still afraid.”


5“How long have I been asleep?”

6“About 3 hours now. You fell asleep right after we got here, must have been very tired.”

8“I am.”

7“Don’t be scared Jensen. It was just a nightmare. Whatever it was it’s not real.”

“I’m not scared.”

9“Are we leaving?”

10“Uh? Oh- yes- I… I have to go get Tommy.”

11What am I doing? Why am I acting this way?

This was what I wanted after all. To be with her.

12“No worries! I spoke to your aunt.”

13“She’s getting Tommy.”

14“You did what?”

15“Don’t be upset.”

16“You don’t understand. Tommy depends on me. You shouldn’t have done that. You had no right.”

17“Jensen relax.”

19“I told her I was your English teacher, and that you needed to stay for a study session. Mandatory!”

18“And that if you wouldn’t stay I would fail you from the course, and you would have to take it again at night…. blah, blah… she said it was no problem.”

“She said that? Really?”


“I’m sorry for snapping before, it’s just that I- I can’t fail Tommy.”

21“I can’t abandon him.”

“And you aren’t. It’s only this time.”

“Don’t we also have Elias to worry about?”

“Damn it! I totally forgot about him.”

“I told my dad I would check on his patient for him. So don’t be upset about Tommy, it will be okay.”

Why am I pushing Maria away? I want her. But I can’t quite see her.

“I want to help you Jensen.”

I can’t see the real her. But I want her.

“Thank you.”

All I ever wanted was this-

“I care for you Jensen.”

exactly this.

“I care enough to help you this much.”

“I- I- thank you.”

I do care for her. Maria… but why?


“Can we just stay for a little while longer then?”

Why? When Maria is kissing me,

and my hands are shaking,

and my heart is beating so fast I’m afraid it might jump out of my chest.

Why do I only see her?

the ghost of Jourdan.


“I’m sorry!!”

“I’m so sorry Maria. But I have to go.”

It only seems like a second ago, when I wanted this. When I wanted to be here. To be kissed by her; to be touched by her.

Now it’s all gone. The magic it’s gone. There is no empty space for just her and me.

It’s only a dream.

And I must wake up now.


I have used items from these creators (not a complete list sorry. You can find some of them linked on my page “Credits”):

  • April
  • GrannyZaza
  • Lunasims
  • Pralinesims
  • Peacemaker ic
  • psycho
  • JS sims
  • I Like The Sims
  • Tifa
  • Kaleido
  • Aikea Guniea
  • yunghsiao
  • sctum
  • AfterDark Sims
  • beaverhausenx
  • Jasumi
  • Ephemera
  • BurntWaffles
  • Shock&Shame
  • mochi
  • Karlie
  • Aphroditeisimmoral
  • Shady
  • S-Club
  • Stefizzi
  • Frau Engel
  • Delight
  • IMHO
  • simply kitsch

5 thoughts on “1st Degree: Jensen and the Ghost of Jourdan – Chapter Four (2nd Part)

    • Aw thank you dear Marta. Next chapters will reveal even more stuff about Jourdan and Jensen… I want to start on the second degree which is the story of Ji Sang!!
      Glad you continue to come here and enjoy my writing. 🙂


  1. Beautiful.

    I love the scenery you create for each scene, with so much detail.

    And the story is drenched with love, coming from all directions — past, present, future.

    I’m just a bit concerned that the last update was a long while ago.

    I hope this is enough encouragement for you to continue!

    And I will go back to writing my own story, knowing I’ll never have my characters living is such stunning ambients.



    • Can’t feel proud of my lack of motivation to write for the half of this year, and won’t keep on blaming it on harsh experiences because I just realized a few days ago that while I kept wanting this year to end because I want to begin a new year, and new hopes, I will still face more sadness in the future. Perhaps not soon, but still, that’s life and I can’t let that keep me from writing nor painting. So hopefully I can keep a steady schedule with this story.
      For now, be sure that I will update on this in January. it will most likely be for the second half of the month, but it will definitely be in January.

      And Andante Zen! Your novel is so beautiful, so striking, it is not in need of “stunning ambient” to embellish it. The narrative is so rich, it is stunning on it’s own. And I admire you for writing such a wonderful tale of love, and expressing so much sincerity through it. It’s like I’m reading the author’s story, because I believe Laurent and Carlos to be alive. Both their stories are so fascinating!

      Thank you for your encouragement, and I am definitely inspired… Oh yes!!


  2. I’m so happy to hear you are inspired.

    And yes, suffering shouldn’t keep us from expressing ourselves, be it painting or writing or making music… because it actually gives us the pulp of our creativity.

    I will come back in January, and until then I hope to have revised and updated all the chapters I have written so far, turned into smaller episodes at the blog where you read my story.

    Thank you for being kind and generous with my writing. I blush, from reading your encouragement. And I do appreciate your feelings for Laurent and Carlo. I’d love to know at which point of the story you are, and see you back at the blog.

    Cheers and Happy 2015 to you!


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